Well hey there! It’s been a while hasn’t it? The great thing about delegation is that it frees me up a bit to do more blogs and hopefully more podcasts. I did wonder about doing a podcast today but I felt I had nothing to chat about (I must be coming down with something!).
So, instead, I have gone back to basics and I’m blogging (does anyone even blog anymore or is it just me?!)
I have had the best weekend. As you may have seen from social media, I took myself off for a weekend away and it was amazing. I am missing my little hotel room as I sit here typing, while my credit card cries about the room service bill I had to pay yesterday!
I was also very unpopular at breakfast yesterday morning. I ordered kippers, and in all fairness, at this point, the restaurant was empty. As they brought out my smelly fish, a couple who were clearly on a romantic, sexual weekend away, sat behind me and I heard her ask the waitress for the vegan options. If you’re reading this, I apologise for stinking you out with my smoked kippers!
Anyway, now I have word vomited all over you and told you my weekend escapades, let’s get on with the show shall we?
So, it’s Christmas soon isn’t it. I wish I was one of those people I see on Facebook. You know the ones, who wear matching pyjamas, have their Christmas shopping done by November and have the neatest, tidiest Christmas tree, usually with a colour scheme.
Well, me that is NOT! I am disorganised, my tree looks like the inside of my brain (colourful, messy and chaotic) and I can’t even blame my child for decorating it badly, as it’s me that does it!
But one thing I do know how to do, my friends, is DRESS for Christmas, so I am going to share my wisdom with you all.
Now I am about to have a MAAAAAJE article come out in national press, on Christmas party dressing, so I can’t do a similar article on here I’m afraid. I’m doing the photoshoot for it next week so all will be revealed.
In the meantime, let’s talk what to wear on the day itself.
WHAT TO WEAR ON CHRISTMAS DAY
There are two types of people on Christmas Day. You have Type A (let’s call her Barbara) who goes for the Christmas jumper, flashing earrings, reindeer horns and greets you at the door with a mulled wine (you are my kind of lady…).
You then have Type B (let’s call her Sarah Lilly…cough…I mean Margaret). Type B decides to dress up on Christmas Day. She wears a sparkly dress, bold makeup and heels which she kicks off the minute she enters the house.
Let’s see if we can merge Barbara with Margaret this year, and come up with a comfortable yet stylish look for you to rock on Christmas Day.
Let’s call this winning combination, “Barbaret”.
You can get a Christmas jumper for every personality and this year I have got myself the most awesome Wonderwoman one.
Go to Merchoid online as they have so many fun Christmas jumpers. I cried trying to choose between whether I wanted to be Wonderwoman or John Snow on Christmas Day, but in the end Wonderwoman won. If you like quirky Christmas jumpers, head there! Alternatively, Primark have loads of great ones this year.
Don’t just pair your Christmas jumper with jeans – borrrrrrrrrrrring! – they deserve so much more than that!
Try wearing your Christmas jumper (like this one from Matalan) with coated jeans or leggings. The beauty of a coated legging is that it’s stretchy and won’t make you bloat after Christmas lunch.
Alternatively, go for the coated biker jeans from Next which have been a winner for my clients this season. Add a biker boot like these from New Look, and you can easily go for a nice walk in this outfit after Christmas lunch.
If your Christmas jumper is a more fitted fit (now you know why my PR lady checks my grammar on articles) then try popping over the top of a dress (like this sequin tee dress from Next).
This gives you the best of both worlds because you can be all Christmassey and festive during the day, and then when you are feeling a bit cheeky (hate that word) and full of booze, you can whip it off to be more evening appropriate for Cards Against Humanity.
HATE CHRISTMAS JUMPERS?
Some people just don’t do the Christmas jumper thing. No judgement, we are all friends here. Christmas jumpers can be very hot and uncomfortable for many!
How about adding sparkle in other ways? If you are a more of a Margaret, you could go for dressy wear, but add some festive accessories this year. If you don’t like Christmas jumpers, it’s highly likely that you won’t want to wear brussel sprout earrings, so instead, why not try dressing up a little black dress or jumpsuit with some accessories?
You can go for something really blingy and sparkly, like these statement necklaces from Accessorize….
Alternatively, if you have in laws that you’re not keen on, wear this necklace (from Sour Cherry) with your outfit, over lunch!
Sour Cherry are really good fun for costume jewellery pieces, and if you like Tatty Devine (did someone say EXPENSIVE?!) then you will love them because they’re similar and cheaper too.
It’s important to feel comfortable on Christmas Day. I remember making the mistake of wearing a thick, waist cinching belt (circa Girls Aloud “Biology”) and I regretted it, the minute I had annihilated my first tube of Pringles at 10am.
I love a high waisted jean but Christmas Day is probably not the best day to do this to yourself. Instead, look for dresses that you can wear with big, massive tights or even a jumpsuit.
Jumpsuits are one of the comfiest items of clothing you could ever own, and if they frighten you, just think that it’s literally just a top and trousers that have been sewn together (don’t try this at home kids, it won’t look good).
You can wear your jumpsuit with trainers, it’ll be forgiving for the mid afternoon bloat and you will have plenty of relatives around to help you out of it when you’re 5 sherries down (your poor uncle will never look at you in the same way).
These two jumpsuits are from Next and will give you mucho longevity next season when you can frolic around in springtime meadows in them.
I am going to finish off by telling you to chill the hell out this Christmas. I had a long walk with my best friend recently and we were chatting about the pressure we feel about Christmas.
Trying to book “the best” Father Christmas is like getting effing Glastonbury tickets and you have to do it in July. Don’t do Elf On The Shelf if it’s going to take away your sanity, don’t make a Christmas Eve box if you have too much shit to do, don’t worry about booking the best Father Christmas – your kids will probably cry anyway!
My memories of Christmas years ago, aren’t the material things. My memories are board games, fun conversations, Christmas Day walks, paperchains that gave you tongue papercuts when you had to lick them and singing Christmas carols at school.
Just enjoy it, do the things you want to do, not the things social media tells you to do.
And if you want a laugh, think about me when I was a teenager. There was a knock on my door one afternoon and one of the boys who bullied me at school, was standing there singing Christmas carols to earn money. It was too late for him to change his mind though and we both had to stand there for 3 painful minutes while he sang Jingle Bells to me.
Happy Christmas Barbarets! 😉