The answer to confidence lies in the magic of fiction

Happy Friday everyone! I’m thrilled to bring you another blog from our amazing team life coach, Merrisha. I hope it gives you a spring in your step on this chilly day!

Love Susie xx

Can you remember the one thing you really loved as a child?

That one thing, where time stood still, and your heart sang with joy?

For me, it was reading.  Fiction specifically.  Escaping to far off lands, meeting animals that talked, seeds that sprouted magical adventures and where a golden ticket unlocked a whole new world.  I found myself daydreaming recently, remembering two classic stories that I loved as a child; James and the Giant Peach and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.   Both were stories that started off normal, but unlocked magical adventures which captured both child and adult alike.

What I loved about the former was the ability to get away on a balloon-esque mode of transport, because balloons have always had these magical abilities to transform.  Blow them up, and they become pretty amazing.  Bright and capable of soaring to new heights.  But pop them and they become …. pretty useless.

And that’s exactly what came to mind as I considered why is it that so many people struggle with confidence.  That feeling of being able to soar, reach new heights and take on the world.  But dare you get too close with the pin of fear, and like a deflated balloon you end up feeling insignificant.  Unable to do the things that make you feel good.  Unable to stand out. 

We are not born confident or unconfident.  Confidence is a state, an emotion, a feeling, which we are all capable of feeling, just like happiness, sadness and excitement.  But for some unknown reason we tell ourselves that we are not confident because somewhere along the line we move from reality to fiction.  Forbes magazine[1] cited “once a limiting belief is triggered and activated, your outlook changes because you begin looking for things that support negative thinking and self-doubt. And if you go hunting for them, you’ll surely find them. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy”  And what this does is stop us believing that things are possible for us.  That we can put on an outfit and feel magical, walk into a room and know the right things to say.  Have the job of our dreams.  And go to a world away from our normal.

I’m of the opinion that we can do anything we want to if we just allow ourselves to believe, and then put those feelings into action. 

  1. Identify your obstacle.  What are you telling yourself that would make you or your life good enough.  Identify where this obstacle has come from.  Is this social media comparisonitis, or is this something else?
  2. Imagine what life would be like without this obstacle.  Like anything we are learning or re-learning, it requires practice for it to feel believable.  So why not pretend in the meantime?  Identify who it is that you would love to be, close your eyes and pretend you are that person.  Visualisation is really powerful because our brains cannot always distinguish what is real and make believe.  So close your eyes and evoke those feelings and see what it is you dream of doing. 
  3. Ask yourself what is in your way.  What is really in your way.  Alot of times the only things in our way are ourselves, and an unrealistic standard of what we want to achieve.  But sometimes there is a realistic obstacle, like those voices of the past.  And if you cannot do it by yourself, maybe talking with a professional is necessary. 
  4. Choose to live the life you want from this moment onwards.  What this really means is start taking action, and believe in possibilities.   Like the great man Willy Wonka himself said,

“If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it

Anything you want to, do it

Want to change the world?

There’s nothing to it”

If you want to stay in touch with coaching tools and strategies, follow me on Instagram @merrishagordoncoaching


[1] https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2020/12/07/the-confidence-tax-why-it-pays-to-believe-in-yourself/

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