Don’t you HATE that first time you put on swimwear? It’s like your winter clothes had previously been holding all that wiggle and jiggle in place, and it feels like your thighs and bottom have a mind of their own, as you awkwardly walk towards the pool/sea/jacuzzi full of middle aged men on their golf weekend spa break….don’t…make….eye…contact.

I also have the unfortunate disadvantage of being tall, so most of the time, your average swimsuit is too short for me, and is eaten by my hungry pear shaped bottom!

I don’t think many women feel confident in a swimsuit, so it’s important that you feel supported in a flattering piece for your body shape.

Don’t automatically reach for the tankini. These can be very unflattering as the boxy shapes do nothing for the female form. In fact, my old tankini was referred to as my “wrestling suit” by my lovely husband…So to avoid looking like Hulk Hogan, you may be better choosing a swimsuit, or a high waisted bikini.


I will try to cover as many bases as possible with this blog, but I have just had a set of acrylic nails applied, so my typing is slow and I need to get to Sainsburys before school pick up, so let’s see how we go….


I’m talking to hourglasses, strawberries and apples here, so pears and rectangles, you can go and make a cuppa at this point.

The first rule of swimsuit club is that we don’t talk about swimsuit club. Oh no, wait, that’s Fight Club. So the first rule of swimsuits for curvy ladies, is PATTERN. It’s flattering, it’s chic and stylish. The bigger the pattern, the better. A small polka dot will be lost on your curves, so we need some big old florals to make your sexy bod look hot in your swimwear.

Tummy control is always good too, as is a bright colour. A black swimming costume can be a bit depressing on a hot beach, so go for a nice bright colour, with a big pair of sunnies and a bright lipstick. Hell, if you’re really going for it, add statement earrings and a mojito.

Underwired bikini tops work brilliantly for all you busty babes, and you can’t beat illusion style swimsuits for flattering curves. An illusion style, is where the sides of the swimsuit are panelled in black, to narrow the body.

Halternecks are great for fuller busts or broad shoulders as they break up the top half. If you’re narrower on your bottom, likea Strawberry, then look for ruffles on the bum, hips, or even swimdresses.

Simply Be are GREAT for swimwear, particularly if you have a generous cup size.

Top row: Debenhams.

Middle row: Next, Simply Be, Simply Be

Bottom row: Simply Be.

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You don’t even have to be tall, you might just be long in the body. I am both, and it’s a pain in the bum!

Check out Long Tall Sally for their swimwear. It’s beautifully generous in length, and your bottom will never go hungry again.

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Ruffles on top, not ruffles on the bum, please ladies! Keep those eyes on the prize (ie, your top half) and try not to go for anything too fussy on the bum. Tankinis are particularly bad for us pears, as they really square off that bottom, creating a lovely muffin and thigh spillage too.

Go for high leg bikini bottoms, swimsuits with plenty of pattern, or anything with detail up top.

Both swimsuits from Debenhams.

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It’s important not to make your shape look boyish, so we need lots of detail here. Pattern, ruffles, interesting straps, fairy lights and bunting! Keep your prints and patterns on the smaller side, and if you want to add bulk to the bust, choose a padded bikini top to add shape.

Both swimsuits from Next.


Start the preparation now. Look after your body. Don’t crash diet or punish yourself in ANY way. Drink lots of water, get that skin looking amazing for summer, with regular body scrubs, moisturisers, and adding a nice tinted moisturiser (my fave is Dove).

Never underestimate the power of a great cover up, such as a kaftan, beach dress or jumpsuit. Ditch the manky old sarong!

Get yourself some glam sunglasses, bright lippy, a fabulous beach bag and a great manicure/pedicure.

Looking good on the beach has nothing to do with your size, weight or shape. It’s confidence, a smile and a fabulous outfit.


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